A Life Story to Ponder - True Story

Q., my cousin, was a vibrant and full-of-life person, who was fun to talk to, and very helpful to all the people around him.  He was the most popular and loved person in the relative circle.

I remember when I was still living in Vietnam, he had an ok life but he wanted to go to America so badly that he continuously tried to flee the country through many dangerous & expensive boat escapes.  He failed and failed and got into prisons many times but he never gave up.

One day, he finally succeeded!  He fled to a Philippine island near by and got rescued by the people there.  In the beginning, he stayed in a refuge camp with high hope of being brought to the U.S. soon thanks to the US's refugee policy at that time.  Unfortunately, the U.S. policy got changed and so his chance of living in America didn't come until 10 years later when his oldest brother from America sponsored him there.  I am talking about 10 years of extreme life conditions with not enough food, clothing, shelter, and medical means.

When he came to America, he worked day and night for 1 year to save up money for college.  His dream was simple: to become a sofware engineer making good money, owning a nice home and having a good family.  The second year came, he got into college, he put all of his effort into studying like I never saw anyone like that.  He didn't work, didn't date any woman: just studying!

When he finished school, unfortunately, he had difficulty finding the right job for some reasons.  He struggled for a while finding a job on his own but he couldn't, then many people including me helped him get an engineering job, but he still couldn't keep his jobs very long.

So, he decided to quit his field and worked at my sister's restaurant as a manager.  That was when he started to look for the woman of his life.  After trying finding "the one" for a while, he got introduced to a woman in Vietnam, so he took the trip there to meet her.

When he was there, he got into a near-death auto accident when taking her out on the first date! Many broken ribs, a broken shoulder, etc.. The strange thing was that his girlfriend only had minor scratches.  He stayed in the hospital for 3 months during that trip to Vietnam.

He married her later & brought her to America.

They lived in a humble shared room in the Vietnamese community.  She went to college in the evening after work so they basically didn't see each other much.

Not very long after that, she came to him and announced that she was in love with another man and wanted a divorce!  Devastated and all, he tried to save the marriage, but he still ended up being divorced.

Extremely broken hearted, he moved to Florida to start a new life,.  He even bought a home and started to remodel it.  Things seemed to be better for him here.   Then, some relatives introduced him to a new woman who lived in a nearby state.  He decided to take a fun trip with a few friends and went pick up the new arranged girlfriend on the way.

They had a few fun days together, driving across many beautfiful places.  That night, while he was driving the van with 7 people in it, including his new woman, his van hit a freeway curb and got turned over.  People believed that the accident happened because he felt asleep while driving.

He instantly died!  The other 6 people were alive, and most had no major damages!  It was reported that there was a pointed piece of material that was on the road that poked through the van and into his skull and took his life immediately!

He was only in the 30s when he left this world!

Everybody, including me, was frozen to find out he died in such a situation!  It sounded like God said he can't be with a woman, and he disobeyed it, so he must die! Remember his first meeting with his wife in Vietnam: he got into a serious accident that almost killed him? and now in this second time involving another woman, he ended his life in this deadly accident!

I didn't really believe in destiny nor the involvement of God in our lives, but this story about a man who had been trying so hard all of his life but never got what he wanted or worked for and ended his life in a dramatic death, truly freaks me out. It makes me think if we are all bound by what have been determined for us by a higher power? I still hope that is not true.

R.I.P. to you, my cousin.

Dana Nguyen